Trouble in Candy-Land: Mona Controna

Mona Controna

First of all there is the crown ice-princess of candy-land Mona Controna and Mona is always super busy, out in the front of her home, loading up materials and supplies and provisions in a hand cart in order to trot off well supplied to her nature loving classes with crazy forest people and she is off somewhere because the princess has a primal urge to teach the willing how to live off the bounty of the forest and she teaches people how to eat bugs and ferns and hopefully not each other and she wants to make her students comfortable in the depths of nature and personally, and besides the point, the depths of nature make me feel very uncomfortable.  And Mona dresses like she just got off the set of Grizzly Adams and she wears these misshapen wool pullover sweaters in the winter and long dresses in the summer that look like they came from some prairie lifestyle catalog and Mona dries deerskin on her front porch and she makes such a huge effort to appear to really care about others and truly and under-cover she is really the Machiavellian princess of candy-land and Mona is always plotting how to use the advantage of the many over the unsuspecting few and for her own benefit, of course, and if you aren't wary of her every move, or is that weary of her every move, and oh yes you will find yourself with the short end of the walking stick when you are friends with Mona and spending time with Mona you can begin to wonder how did this happen to me.  And as Mona would say herself she likes to facilitate the needs of the community and move the agenda along except truly what she is doing is manipulating the needs of the community to her personal advantage and really Mona is the force behind the throne of the evil queen and probably the super hero king as well and Mona is a believer in the candy-land way because Candy-Land really works for Mona. 

Mona lives across the street from #17 and she has a front garden that looks like a theatrical setting for "Rapunzel Lives in a Townhouse" and Mona has a modern life in a co-ho sort of way but what brings Mona alive is that:

Mona Contrara has a little homestead out in the woods behind Moon Stone and it's a mystical place or so that's Mona's intention and the place is complete with a little fire pit and a round hut made out of woodsy sort of things including a neighbors old outdoor Christmas wreaths and the Christmas wreaths sort of stand out to me and the wreaths just didn't seem that woodsy to me and Mona probably didn't try to pass any sort of architectural review for nature wigwams with her abandoned Christmas wreaths  and really no one seemed to care at all that Mona had set up what looked like a homeless persons campground behind Moon Stone and in our woods and really Mona just does what she wants around her because she is so precious and kinda icey cold too and some people get pretty tired of this and they tell Mona off but Mona is a trooper and she is so earnest about deflecting their barbs and really she would like to have peace but just her way really and she wears people's resistance down with her strategy and the Mrs. and I began to wonder what was really going on in that wigwam of Mona's and it seemed like a lot of women were hanging around in the nature center and are women and nature equal and maybe that's why I am afraid of nature.

And the stated purpose for this little troll like sort of campground place was so that the place was to become Mona's nature learning center and just past the Wigwam is a ratty old tarp stretched out between the trees to give shelter to the students as they study about nature and they learn how to eat bugs and hopefully not how to bite each other and the students seem to keep Mona Controna busy all of the time and daily she rushes off from the front porch of her townhome with supplies for her learning center and Mona has hauled so many carts full of supplies out to her car or out to the woods or out to teach her students somewhere that it would make a city boy's head spin and the stated purpose of this pretty much disheveled camp is to teach the students how to survive out in nature and frankly that frightens me as I see nature as this god like environment that will take me away, it seems, at any given moment and I have to be on guard about nature and protect myself in nature and cover myself in human beliefs in order to protect myself from nature and all of its ruins and I am a collected sort of Scottish-English Man and I am also a little uncomfortable around Mona Controna because I know her people back in the old country have been tormenting my people for generations and Mona Controna is always lying in wait, behind a tree, to destroy me and I tried to be friends with her but while we were talking about her being my friend Mona was also double crossing me with the club's under-cover secret business and Mona Controna told the world that I was the source for all that was bad and unsettling here at Moonstone and I had just moved in and I was kind of confused by this but it became very clear very quickly that Mona Controna was a double agent for the club and she was out to get the Woodcocks because it was also in her blood to sabotage J.P. Woodcock and I can just feel the family feud in our 21^st century blood lines and I can now see now that whatever Mona Controna is doing she is very much calculating how to rid Moon Stone of the Woodcocks and how quickly can this be done she thinks to herself that making the Woodcocks move would be a wonderful unstated sort of goal for her and after many confrontations with the ICE Princess and her court I told the princess herself to stay on her side of the line and I will stay on my side and please Mona don't ever cross over onto my side and for the most part now we don't snarl at each other anymore when our paths cross on the walkways but once when it was the dead of winter and it was last winter and I was driving through the parking lot very slowly heading out to the street and the parking lot had so much ice on it that I thought I was driving on a large skating rink and this one-time of primal urge Mona Controna and one-time on that cold winter morning Mona decided to back out straight from her parking spot without looking just in order to ram my car and ram me into the wind-shied and just because she wanted to but somehow she missed me and I avoided that planned punishment by the gods and I really do try to avoid whatever she is talking about now and I have learned it is sunnier on my side of the street if I don't see too much of Mona Controna.