The Me That i Simply Me

J.P. Woodcock here. I have looked inside myself this week and found, to my discomfort, that I am in exile from myself. How can this be you might ask? Well I am quite sure that modern psychology should have explanations for this estrangement from myself.

How long have you felt this way J.P.? Well it seems this imbalance in my demeanor began at an early age. As I reflect upon this concern I have realized, I am quite sure, that the me that is simply me drifted apart from the me that you interact with as early as ego and id and super ego began to shape me for public consumption.

How much more simple it would have been to be myself in a straight line than going through all of this fabrication of persona and then deconstruction of said fabrication of fabricated persona to reach this same age of construction less self that I am now striving for. I guess being circuitous is part of our curious post modern life or maybe we humans, as evolutionary beings, find this fabrication and subsequent deconstruction of our public self necessary to escape some wild tiger loping towards us in the openness of the brilliant sunlit savannah.

For the most part I would rather be left alone with my id. This is the real me. The me that has joy and relishes the coming light of day. I have come to realize that I have spent my entire life entertaining myself rather than concerning myself with the needs of the ego. Thus it must be the id that is the me that is simply me. I listen to music that I like and I only read books that I enjoy. I eat sleep and drink only what I like. I have pursued me, within myself, as much as I possibly can. But therein lies the problem.

In this life I have no problems with the concerns of the super-ego. One always has a good sense of when we have made mistakes or gotten caught with our hands in the cookie jar. Even age conspires to inform you of right and wrong.

No, what has caused my estrangement for the me that is simply me is the breakdown of my ego. Ego is not holding up the bargain. Ego has weakened with time and is no longer playing it’s part in this psychological apparatus that me, J.P. Woodcock, has constructed to be the me that is simply me.

Just exactly what do we do to engage the ego to rise from the depths, of late, of it’s uneven performance and make life safe for being the me that is simply me.